Reflections and Remembrances
 

I knew Kay from her first year of high school 57 years ago, when she showed up in the Cradock Band playing first chair flute and marching with the Cradock Majorettes.

She was a delightful young girl full of zest for life, and eager to achieve at everything she tried. She was a person of great talent and accomplishment.

During high school, her teachers and fellow students marked her for leadership. For four years she was in Band, she was also a Band Staff Officer and an All State Band member for two years. She was a class officer in CHS-60 all four years. She was a SCA Officer, Officer in the Citywide “Hi-Y” council, President of her own Tri-Hi-Y, a National Honor Society Member for two years, Cradock’s representative to Girl’s State, and an award winning actress in state wide competition. Kay was an achiever at an early age.

She earned a B.A. in English, Speech, and Drama at William & Mary College, and an M.S. in Administration from William & Mary and Old Dominion University while earning outstanding grades and scholarship prizes at W&M.

As I have considered Kay’s life since I heard of her death yesterday, I thought of the myriad of people that she has influenced. More than 5000 students in a forty-six year teaching career learned from her wisdom. Hundreds of young girls in scholarship pageants became lifelong friends with Kay, who mentored them. She worked as a volunteer with Miss Virginia and Miss America pageants for forty years.

She chaperoned her drama students to New Your City and introduced them to Broadway plays that she loved, and so did they. They also learned to love her.

Kay was great fun to be with. She made fun out of life’s experiences. I rarely saw her when she was not laughing and smiling and she was always entertaining.

As a youngster, she loved the beach, the sun, and good times spent there with her pals, and she never got over that love. Her favorite vacations were at the beach.

She was a dancer. Her obituary sites her for a “Living Legends” award and she was installed in the Virginia Shaggers Hall of Fame. She was quite simply as good as it gets on the dance floor. All of her dance partners, and there were thousands, loved the experience of a spin on the dance floor with Kay. She made her male partners look good, even when they were exceedingly average performers. In Cradock she was a “Dancing Queen” who taught many of her boyfriends how to dance...she was the best.

Throughout her life, she made deep and abiding friendships with her schoolmates, her teachers and mentors, her social friends, her co-workers and those who volunteered with her and remained close to her family. We all knew her for her capacity to listen to others and offer a helping hand when needed.

In 2007 when her beloved mother, Evelyn, died, Kay, in a moving eulogy, spoke of her and touched the hearts of all who heard her. “Wayne and I were fortunate to have had Evelyn as our mother”. Our friends and family know Wayne and me for our sense of humor and fun loving, and we inherited that from our parents and benefited throughout life for emulating their work ethic and the moral guidance she taught.

Kay spoke lovingly about growing up in Cradock. Her family moved from Suffolk when she was seven and at first was afraid of leaving Suffolk to move to the city and the little duplex on Decatur Street that became so special as she grew up. It was a house of many happy times, and many friends, because Evelyn made it that way and Cradock was a great neighborhood. Kay said we could wander anywhere...to Red’s Confectionary for a coke or to play in Afton Square or sit on the cannon. “It was a safe place to grow up.”

Our parents made sure we had everything we needed and most of what we wanted. They scrimped, saved, and gave us lessons and private instruction when we wanted and sent us both to college. It was not easy, but they were both determined to give their children the best of everything they could afford.

All of us knew Kay made the most of these parent provided benefits

She spent her teaching career in the school systems of Hampton Roads coaching and directing young thespians

For many years, she has been a principal volunteer in the Miss Virginia Pageant as well as many local pageants.

Last January I saw her in a Tennessee Williams Play, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, at the Smithfield Little Theatre and she was spectacular in the role of “Big Mama”. She loved being a performer after all of the years of coaching performances out of others.

She was one-of-a-kind, a friend to many, a guidance counselor to several generations of young women in the schools as well as the local, statewide and national pageants, which she loved. She will be mourned and missed by many. To me she was always a sweet friend. I will miss hold her and always hold her memory in my heart.

Kay’s persona was about being nice. Whenever she chose between being right and being kind…Kay Sykes chose kindness. It marked everyone’s experience of her.

Today we are sad and know that prayers, song, and religious services will not remove the pain; but they will help for the believers in eternal life and it is certain that in a while, our sadness will diminish and our fond memories will emerge.

Our remembrances of Kay, a wonderful woman, whose love helped to brighten life’s path for us, will take the place of the feeling of loss that we have.

She will be remembered as friendly, loving, and joyous about life, with unfailing courtesy, gentle ways, good spirit, and love for her family and friends.

She will be remembered for her infectious smile, a keen wit and laughing eyes. It was rare when we found Kay without time to share a moment infused with good feelings. She made you feel the warmth of her friendship.

Finally...

Requiescat in pace, Kay Prince Sykes, we knew you well and loved you dearly.

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